After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
