She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
