i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How does one acquire holy water?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
