Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
