Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
