ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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