I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
