Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
