his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
