So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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