Is it normal to miss your booty call?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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