I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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