she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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