I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
