I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
smell my finger.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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