Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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