I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
this hospital has no fireball
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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