I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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