Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
