I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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