My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
