and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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