I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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