Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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