I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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