My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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