Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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