I saw his package. It spoke to me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
