she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
