I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
