Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
