you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
