He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
