My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize