Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
