he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
