its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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