come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
