He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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