you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
