So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
