He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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