first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
