i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize