I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
