He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
bring money and cleavage
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
