Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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