So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize