Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
