What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
and she was petting her beer can
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
