physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
