I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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