You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
