chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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