I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
