dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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