its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
