so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
