I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
