I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
