Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
