and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
