I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
