I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
