fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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