Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
