I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do vagina's smell?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
